I've become guilty of losing the forest for the trees. This is mostly due to the fact that I overloaded my plate of life this past month, leading to a near mental breakdown. Turns out I'm not superwoman and cannot handle 35-40 hours of working on top of seminary full time. Good lesson to learn.
I'm supposed to be in New York right now doing a training for the Accompanier program with the Presbyterian Peace Fellowship. I'd been looking forward to this for months and would admit that getting ball rolling on this endeavor was at the top of my "Things I'm Excited About in Life Right Now" list. Instead, I'm in Austin. I canceled the trip because I would have missed one huge exam and three baby quizzes, which wouldn't have been the end of the world, but I came to realize my need to rest. Yes, the training would have been amazing. Yes, Spring Break is one week away. But my experience on the Gulf Coast with PDA taught me when to know my limits and to not push myself too far.
I've also become so focused on minor details and frustrations, that I haven't allowed the bigger picture to remain in focus. Take Hebrew for example. One of the reasons I came to seminary was a desire to learn Hebrew and Greek so that I could read the original text. I now have 250 Hebrew words memorized and yet I can't translate a sentence to save my life. Where the heck do the nuns and definite articles go? My frustrations have taken a hold of me and I've forgotten the reason I'm taking the class. I need to remember that in order to read the Hebrew Bible, I must do a lot of hard work first. This notion applies to the greater seminary experience as well. Yes I want to minister with integrity, which means I need a degree and must put in the hard work. Oy Vey!
Showing posts with label PDA. Show all posts
Showing posts with label PDA. Show all posts
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
The Trouble with Trauma
On Tuesday I found closure. The youth director who served our church when I was in high school was sentenced to 12 years in prison for violating his probation. Finally. I mentioned my high school youth group experience in one of my posts this week and that it has been a huge part of my discernment/processing here at seminary. When the initial trial was going on, I remember hearing a peer say that the only person who should feel traumatized by this situation is the victim. But who was the victim? Yes, there was one person who came forward with testimony of sexual misconduct, but I realize that there were many more victims in this scenario than that peer was acknowledging. My experience on the Gulf Coast after Katrina/Rita taught me that trauma can affect more than the obvious. Of course people who lost their homes were traumatized, but so many others were too. In our orientation to volunteers, we always told them to be aware of their own emotional health during their week in the recovery zone. Trauma affected them too. It affected the people who saw the images on TV. It affected the people who evacuated and came back to their homes untouched by the storm. It isn't fair to categorize trauma or to rank it. Everyone is different. Every experience of the same situation is different. Our youth director was not only guilty of sexual abuse, but was also guilty of emotional abuse. I know I'm not the only one recovering from that. People outside our youth group were affected and hurt by this as well. The church's name was smeared all over the media and of course the community made the same assumptions about the Presbyterian church that they do about the Catholic church with their abuse scandals. Members of our church, including my dad, had devoted countless hours trying to work through the mess that was created. People left the church. People left their faith. I don't think I'll ever fully realize how huge the impact of this situation was.
What I do know is that this experience left me wondering what I was going to do with my life. Growing up I had always thought I would get into some sort of ministry as a career, but I dropped any notion of that plan when this all went down. It didn't matter how many incredible mentors I had in the church or how many incredible experiences I had growing up. This situation erased all of that and in my mind people in the church were the ones who hurt you. Amazing how one experience can change the direction of your entire life. It wasn't until I worked with PDA on the Gulf Coast and saw the amazing love pouring out of the church that I realized how distorted my thinking had become. Thus the healing began and still continues.
This prison sentence isn't going to fix everything, but I am at peace knowing that justice has been served. My heart is filled with relief and the little things that would normally get me frazzled (getting called out in New Testament when I wasn't paying attention, doing poorly on the Hebrew quiz this morning, etc.) don't seem so bad.
"Comfort, O comfort my people, says your God" ~ Isaiah 40:1
What I do know is that this experience left me wondering what I was going to do with my life. Growing up I had always thought I would get into some sort of ministry as a career, but I dropped any notion of that plan when this all went down. It didn't matter how many incredible mentors I had in the church or how many incredible experiences I had growing up. This situation erased all of that and in my mind people in the church were the ones who hurt you. Amazing how one experience can change the direction of your entire life. It wasn't until I worked with PDA on the Gulf Coast and saw the amazing love pouring out of the church that I realized how distorted my thinking had become. Thus the healing began and still continues.
This prison sentence isn't going to fix everything, but I am at peace knowing that justice has been served. My heart is filled with relief and the little things that would normally get me frazzled (getting called out in New Testament when I wasn't paying attention, doing poorly on the Hebrew quiz this morning, etc.) don't seem so bad.
"Comfort, O comfort my people, says your God" ~ Isaiah 40:1
Monday, February 15, 2010
Happy Valentine's Day!
Not going to make any promises about writing frequently on this here blog, but for some reason I feel inspired to share some stuff with you out there in the internets. This may become a routine end of day deal, or maybe this will be the only post for three months. Keep coming back to check, I love leaving you in suspense.
For the past five months I haven't known what to write on here. I also haven't known what to say in real life off the internets, as I've had one existential crisis after another. This is a normal symptom of seminary. Pretty sure I've cried more in the past 4 months than I have in the past 24 years, which is a good thing. Progress.
So today I had a bit of a breakthrough. As I was organizing the Valentine's aisle (I work at a drug store now, more on that later), amidst the stuffed animals and pounds of chocolate, I was thinking back to the past few Valentine's Days. I like to do this on every holiday, even quirky ones like Groundhogs day. So what did I do on Valentine's Day...
...2006...last year of college but I don't remember what I did that day. Probably watched Pride and Prejudice (BBC version of course) and hosted a pity party for Single's Awareness Day. Gotta love mopey Becca.
...2007...was in Mississippi enjoying a week without volunteers in the camp. I think we were in the midst of moving from the community center site to the post office site. I remember being very tired that month. I also remember finding out that my grandpa was sick and unlikely to recover. He died 10 days later on his 91st birthday. That night I was treated to a Chinese Buffet with Big John, Jan and Graham. It was awkward.
...2008...was at the low point of my quarter life crisis. I think I was working at the library that night. This was before my substitute license had been processed, so I was working 12 hours a week shelving books, living with my parents, feeling very down.
...2009...was in DC for an AmeriCorps conference. I was in the midst of processing some major life decisions. I remember walking over to a basilica or cathedral across from the school where were were staying, and sat in their prayer garden. Appropriately enough I started praying and asking myself some tough questions. I had just submitted my applications to four graduate schools and was discerning which route to take: Social Work or Seminary. I don't know how much time passed, but I remember crying a lot and trying to figure out what to do with all the snot running down my face as I didn't have any tissues. After a while I was at peace with the plan to go to seminary. As I walked back toward the campus a maintenance worker stopped me to ask if I was okay. He must have thought I was broken hearted or lonely on Valentine's Day because he told me that whoever he was, he didn't deserve me. I laughed and kept on walking.
...2010...attending Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary and finally loving it. Last semester was iffy. There was way too much discernment and assessing our lives - where we've been and where we're going. It was uncomfortable and frightening, but I've finally dealt with some stuff I had let get covered in dust. Started acknowledging some childhood trauma. Admitted that my experience in high school youth group hurt me more than I allowed myself to admit before. Began to think about the future and what it might look like after seminary. So, I guess you could say I've been a bit busy. I can only guess it will be more of the same for the next 2.5.
As I look at this time line, I'm amazed at how much progress I've made and am overwhelmed by the notion that I'm in a really healthy place for the first time in a long time. What a relief!
That's all for now.
For the past five months I haven't known what to write on here. I also haven't known what to say in real life off the internets, as I've had one existential crisis after another. This is a normal symptom of seminary. Pretty sure I've cried more in the past 4 months than I have in the past 24 years, which is a good thing. Progress.
So today I had a bit of a breakthrough. As I was organizing the Valentine's aisle (I work at a drug store now, more on that later), amidst the stuffed animals and pounds of chocolate, I was thinking back to the past few Valentine's Days. I like to do this on every holiday, even quirky ones like Groundhogs day. So what did I do on Valentine's Day...
...2006...last year of college but I don't remember what I did that day. Probably watched Pride and Prejudice (BBC version of course) and hosted a pity party for Single's Awareness Day. Gotta love mopey Becca.
...2007...was in Mississippi enjoying a week without volunteers in the camp. I think we were in the midst of moving from the community center site to the post office site. I remember being very tired that month. I also remember finding out that my grandpa was sick and unlikely to recover. He died 10 days later on his 91st birthday. That night I was treated to a Chinese Buffet with Big John, Jan and Graham. It was awkward.
...2008...was at the low point of my quarter life crisis. I think I was working at the library that night. This was before my substitute license had been processed, so I was working 12 hours a week shelving books, living with my parents, feeling very down.
...2009...was in DC for an AmeriCorps conference. I was in the midst of processing some major life decisions. I remember walking over to a basilica or cathedral across from the school where were were staying, and sat in their prayer garden. Appropriately enough I started praying and asking myself some tough questions. I had just submitted my applications to four graduate schools and was discerning which route to take: Social Work or Seminary. I don't know how much time passed, but I remember crying a lot and trying to figure out what to do with all the snot running down my face as I didn't have any tissues. After a while I was at peace with the plan to go to seminary. As I walked back toward the campus a maintenance worker stopped me to ask if I was okay. He must have thought I was broken hearted or lonely on Valentine's Day because he told me that whoever he was, he didn't deserve me. I laughed and kept on walking.
...2010...attending Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary and finally loving it. Last semester was iffy. There was way too much discernment and assessing our lives - where we've been and where we're going. It was uncomfortable and frightening, but I've finally dealt with some stuff I had let get covered in dust. Started acknowledging some childhood trauma. Admitted that my experience in high school youth group hurt me more than I allowed myself to admit before. Began to think about the future and what it might look like after seminary. So, I guess you could say I've been a bit busy. I can only guess it will be more of the same for the next 2.5.
As I look at this time line, I'm amazed at how much progress I've made and am overwhelmed by the notion that I'm in a really healthy place for the first time in a long time. What a relief!
That's all for now.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Thoughts on Poverty
The first of the month snuck up on me without warning and it is time again for the Presby Bloggers to Unite! This months topic is poverty, which normally I could write about until the cows come home. I had grand plans for talking about poverty in my backyard (Boulder, Co) as well as poverty in the next neighborhood over (Africa, Latin America, Southeast Asia, etc). But after a rather exhausting week at work I seem to be suffering from mental fatigue and writer's block. So, I will highlight the UN Millennium Development Goals which were created in 1990 and hoped to be met by 2015. In addition to listing the goals, I'll also make a few scattered notes for all they're worth.
1. Eradicate extreme poverty and hunger - Doesn't really seem like we've made much progress since thousands upon thousands die every day from hunger and about 1/6 of the world lives on less than a dollar a day.
2. Achieve universal primary education- not looking good for this one either, unless Oprah decides to keep opening schools all over the world.
3. Promote gender equality and empower women - I'm not really sure how the UN plans to define success on this one, but I'm not going to get into talking about how long this road is right now:)
4. Reduce child mortality.
5. Improve maternal health.
6. combat HIV/AIDS, malaria, and other diseases- Not sure where I get this factoid, but I once heard that if Sub-Saharan Africa were granted full debt relief, they could afford to stop the AIDS epidemic in it's path.
7. Ensure environmental sustainability.
8. Create a global partnership for development.
2015 isn't far away. I'm curious to see how concerned the UN will be as the deadline for these goals draws near.
So what does this all have to do with Presbyterians? I have to say that I'm very proud of the work that the Presbyterian Church is doing as far as working to end poverty. There are some truly amazing ministries in the church and after working with Presbyterian Disaster Assistance, I've become very aware of how the Presbyterian family rallies for those in need. While I don't think the Presbyterian Church could ever be capable of solving the world's poverty problem, I do think it can play a vital role. I'd love to see mission be a more significant portion of the budget in all churches. I'd love to see more letter writing campaigns to our representatives. I'd also love to hear more conversations about the topic in sermons, Sunday School classes and at coffee hour. The Presbyterians have a reputation as being the wealthiest (per capita) church in the world and it is time to put our wealth to work!
1. Eradicate extreme poverty and hunger - Doesn't really seem like we've made much progress since thousands upon thousands die every day from hunger and about 1/6 of the world lives on less than a dollar a day.
2. Achieve universal primary education- not looking good for this one either, unless Oprah decides to keep opening schools all over the world.
3. Promote gender equality and empower women - I'm not really sure how the UN plans to define success on this one, but I'm not going to get into talking about how long this road is right now:)
4. Reduce child mortality.
5. Improve maternal health.
6. combat HIV/AIDS, malaria, and other diseases- Not sure where I get this factoid, but I once heard that if Sub-Saharan Africa were granted full debt relief, they could afford to stop the AIDS epidemic in it's path.
7. Ensure environmental sustainability.
8. Create a global partnership for development.
2015 isn't far away. I'm curious to see how concerned the UN will be as the deadline for these goals draws near.
So what does this all have to do with Presbyterians? I have to say that I'm very proud of the work that the Presbyterian Church is doing as far as working to end poverty. There are some truly amazing ministries in the church and after working with Presbyterian Disaster Assistance, I've become very aware of how the Presbyterian family rallies for those in need. While I don't think the Presbyterian Church could ever be capable of solving the world's poverty problem, I do think it can play a vital role. I'd love to see mission be a more significant portion of the budget in all churches. I'd love to see more letter writing campaigns to our representatives. I'd also love to hear more conversations about the topic in sermons, Sunday School classes and at coffee hour. The Presbyterians have a reputation as being the wealthiest (per capita) church in the world and it is time to put our wealth to work!
Thursday, February 5, 2009
25 Things
At first I was really annoyed by the "25 Things" note that has been circulating Facebook, but now I kind of like the idea. Rather than post there, I've decided to post it here, partly because I'm weaning myself off Facebook (Thanks Bryce for the inspiration) and partly because the people I care about most read this blog (particularly my cabinet of advisers- you ladies know who you are). Here are my 25 things.
1. I just had my phone interview with the admissions person at Austin Theological Seminary and am beginning to realize that the paths in life that scare the shit out of me are usually the best ones to take.
2. I was the first girl at Lincoln Preschool to get a timeout for kissing a boy in class.
3. When I'm sick I like to throw my used tissues near the trashcan, but not in the trashcan until I'm healthy. I don't really know why, but I do love to see how many Kleenex's I can go through.
4. I'm planning a trip to Prince Edward Island with my friend Jessie to visit "The Land of Anne". I'm secretly hoping to meet my own Gilbert there.
5. My biggest pet peeve is women/girls/teens/tweens who are thin to begin with, but claim they're too fat.
6. My VHS tapes of Pride and Prejudice (BBC Version) are starting to wear out.
7. During my three years in college, I lived in 6 different dorms/apartments.
8. I desperately want to move back to the South and wouldn't mind ending up in Jackson, MS.
9. I'll be spending Valentine's Day in Washington D.C. What could be more romantic than spending that day in the capital of the country I'm starting fall in love with?
10. I am notorious for keeping library books way past their due date, which is why I still work at the library in order to keep the perk of no overdue fines.
11. My first CDs were Shania Twain, Seal and TLC.
12. I do fine with public speaking in most venues (PDA camp, tutor trainings/presentations etc.), except for my church. Not sure why that is.
13. I can't keep plants alive.
14. I woke up at 4:30 this morning (on my own, no alarm clock) because I couldn't wait to watch last night's episode of LOST online. Pathetic.
15. I've skied since I was 6 years old, but I still hate black diamond runs.
16. I'm a big believer in kindred spirits and bosom friends.
17. I own three pairs of Crocs, but didn't pay for any of them and never wear them anymore.
18. The IRS only knows about 4 of the 7 jobs I had last year.
19. I HATE the word suckle.
20. I normally don't read self-help books, but I'm currently reading He's Just Not That Into You and am surprised by how much I'm enjoying it.
21. I could be perfectly content with eating the exact same thing every day- I love consistency.
22. I only wash my hair once or twice a week because I find it too much of a hassle. It is great for saving money on shampoo, but I think I might have more friends if I washed it more often.
23. I can't remember what I did on my 23rd birthday, which was only 8 months ago.
24. I got a gift certificate to a spa, but I don't really like to be touched by strangers. I booked a manicure appointment thinking it will be the least uncomfortable treatment.
25. I'm the type of person who has a few very close friends (vs. a person with many not-so-close friends), but muh dawg Chloe ranks #1.
1. I just had my phone interview with the admissions person at Austin Theological Seminary and am beginning to realize that the paths in life that scare the shit out of me are usually the best ones to take.
2. I was the first girl at Lincoln Preschool to get a timeout for kissing a boy in class.
3. When I'm sick I like to throw my used tissues near the trashcan, but not in the trashcan until I'm healthy. I don't really know why, but I do love to see how many Kleenex's I can go through.
4. I'm planning a trip to Prince Edward Island with my friend Jessie to visit "The Land of Anne". I'm secretly hoping to meet my own Gilbert there.
5. My biggest pet peeve is women/girls/teens/tweens who are thin to begin with, but claim they're too fat.
6. My VHS tapes of Pride and Prejudice (BBC Version) are starting to wear out.
7. During my three years in college, I lived in 6 different dorms/apartments.
8. I desperately want to move back to the South and wouldn't mind ending up in Jackson, MS.
9. I'll be spending Valentine's Day in Washington D.C. What could be more romantic than spending that day in the capital of the country I'm starting fall in love with?
10. I am notorious for keeping library books way past their due date, which is why I still work at the library in order to keep the perk of no overdue fines.
11. My first CDs were Shania Twain, Seal and TLC.
12. I do fine with public speaking in most venues (PDA camp, tutor trainings/presentations etc.), except for my church. Not sure why that is.
13. I can't keep plants alive.
14. I woke up at 4:30 this morning (on my own, no alarm clock) because I couldn't wait to watch last night's episode of LOST online. Pathetic.
15. I've skied since I was 6 years old, but I still hate black diamond runs.
16. I'm a big believer in kindred spirits and bosom friends.
17. I own three pairs of Crocs, but didn't pay for any of them and never wear them anymore.
18. The IRS only knows about 4 of the 7 jobs I had last year.
19. I HATE the word suckle.
20. I normally don't read self-help books, but I'm currently reading He's Just Not That Into You and am surprised by how much I'm enjoying it.
21. I could be perfectly content with eating the exact same thing every day- I love consistency.
22. I only wash my hair once or twice a week because I find it too much of a hassle. It is great for saving money on shampoo, but I think I might have more friends if I washed it more often.
23. I can't remember what I did on my 23rd birthday, which was only 8 months ago.
24. I got a gift certificate to a spa, but I don't really like to be touched by strangers. I booked a manicure appointment thinking it will be the least uncomfortable treatment.
25. I'm the type of person who has a few very close friends (vs. a person with many not-so-close friends), but muh dawg Chloe ranks #1.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes
I just got back from an amazing Christmas at my grandpa's house in Montrose where time seemed to slow down which allowed for a great deal of reflection. My grandpa lives outside of town in the farm country with a magnificent view of the San Juan mountain range. I always feel like I've stepped back in time when we visit him which could be due to the fact that his furniture hasn't changed in twenty years and it could also be due to the fact that he doesn't own a computer so I feel disconnected from my cyberspace routine. Most of our time was spent sitting around waiting for the next meal. The rest of the time was spent enjoying the beautiful scenery. One of the highlights of the week was when my dad and Chloe and I drove down to Ouray which is a quaint town nestled in a valley and has been dubbed "The Switzerland of America". We walked around in the freezing cold (the sun hits the town for only about an hour during the day and spends the rest of the time hiding behind the mountains) and watched Chloe enjoy a romp around a park.
I also spent a lot of time taking Chloe for walks which she thoroughly enjoyed and reminded her of the days of freedom she spent in Pearlington when she had no idea what a leash was. During these long walks I took time to reflect on a variety of topics; first and foremost, my time spent in Mississippi. Then I got to thinking about the month that I've had to spend at home here in Colorado. I'm extremely grateful for this "Selah" time (I'll explain that later) even though I'm starting to become a bit stir crazy and ready to get a job. I keep coming back to something that a mentor told me before I left for the Gulf Coast. I don't know if she was quoting someone else or what, so hopefully I don't get into trouble for stealing words. She told me this: "Don't be surprised if when you get back you feel both less and more at home- everything will be just as it was before. But you won't be". I'm beginning to think that I've changed a lot more than I realize.
This dawned on me the other night when I attended a "reunion" party for anyone who has ever been involved in the youth group at our church. I observed three girls (I didn't know them very well before that night)who just returned from their first semester at college. They were full of stories about the dorms and roommates and awful professors which made me think about what it was like when I was in their place in life. You know, way back in time. Okay, just four years. The things that I thought were funny back then aren't really funny anymore. The things that worried me back then don't really concern me anymore. The questions about life that I had back then aren't so mysterious anymore (although many new questions have arisen since).
So now that I'm back at home after this life altering year in a disaster zone, I look around and see that things are pretty much just as they were before (although there are a boatload more Starbucks now). And I'm different. For instance, my parents are still the parents that I've had the past 22 years but I see them differently. They're now my friends. I like to hang out with them and I love that we still eat dinner together almost every night. Another example: If I would have spent a Saturday night at home four years ago, I would have felt like a complete loser. Now I don't mind so much. Tonight I watched a movie with my folks, assembled a bookcase and arranged all of my books by subject and author (that OCD comes from working at a library for four years). It was really enjoyable even if it is a dorky way to spend a Saturday night.
I also spent a lot of time taking Chloe for walks which she thoroughly enjoyed and reminded her of the days of freedom she spent in Pearlington when she had no idea what a leash was. During these long walks I took time to reflect on a variety of topics; first and foremost, my time spent in Mississippi. Then I got to thinking about the month that I've had to spend at home here in Colorado. I'm extremely grateful for this "Selah" time (I'll explain that later) even though I'm starting to become a bit stir crazy and ready to get a job. I keep coming back to something that a mentor told me before I left for the Gulf Coast. I don't know if she was quoting someone else or what, so hopefully I don't get into trouble for stealing words. She told me this: "Don't be surprised if when you get back you feel both less and more at home- everything will be just as it was before. But you won't be". I'm beginning to think that I've changed a lot more than I realize.
This dawned on me the other night when I attended a "reunion" party for anyone who has ever been involved in the youth group at our church. I observed three girls (I didn't know them very well before that night)who just returned from their first semester at college. They were full of stories about the dorms and roommates and awful professors which made me think about what it was like when I was in their place in life. You know, way back in time. Okay, just four years. The things that I thought were funny back then aren't really funny anymore. The things that worried me back then don't really concern me anymore. The questions about life that I had back then aren't so mysterious anymore (although many new questions have arisen since).
So now that I'm back at home after this life altering year in a disaster zone, I look around and see that things are pretty much just as they were before (although there are a boatload more Starbucks now). And I'm different. For instance, my parents are still the parents that I've had the past 22 years but I see them differently. They're now my friends. I like to hang out with them and I love that we still eat dinner together almost every night. Another example: If I would have spent a Saturday night at home four years ago, I would have felt like a complete loser. Now I don't mind so much. Tonight I watched a movie with my folks, assembled a bookcase and arranged all of my books by subject and author (that OCD comes from working at a library for four years). It was really enjoyable even if it is a dorky way to spend a Saturday night.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Sorrow
In a season which is supposed to be filled with joy and celebration, I find myself grieving for many reasons. First and foremost is the death of my former boss, Rich Cozzone who died in a car accident last week. Rich served as a village manager and work site manager off and on before stepping up to the position of Gulf Coast Coordinator for all of the villages that PDA operates. He was a kind and joyful man who had a passion for service. My thoughts and prayers go out to his wife and three kids and his extended PDA family still serving on the Gulf Coast.
I also grieve over my separation from PDA and all the friends I made during my time on the Gulf Coast. I knew that it would be a difficult transition even though it was necessary. I just miss my friends. I miss the villages which were my home and workplace. I miss the discomfort that I lived in day after day. I'm not really sure how to handle this life of comfort that I was thrust into. I live in a house with insulation and comfy bed versus the drafty trailer with a stiff mattress. My town hasn't been broken by a natural disaster and all of my neighbors seem to be doing fine on their own without assistance. It's weird.
I also grieve over the recent shootings at two Colorado religious institutions this weekend. This is a pretty interesting report on the situation. First, let me say that I'm saddened by the fact that 6 people lost their lives during this. But what struck me the most about this event is the fact that New Life Church has an armed security guard. According to the latest report I read, her normal routine is to attend the first service as a worshiper and then attends the second service as the pastor's bodyguard. It seems odd to me that a place that is supposed to be preaching the Gospel which is full of love and grace and mercy, feels the need to protect themselves with weapons.
I also grieve over my separation from PDA and all the friends I made during my time on the Gulf Coast. I knew that it would be a difficult transition even though it was necessary. I just miss my friends. I miss the villages which were my home and workplace. I miss the discomfort that I lived in day after day. I'm not really sure how to handle this life of comfort that I was thrust into. I live in a house with insulation and comfy bed versus the drafty trailer with a stiff mattress. My town hasn't been broken by a natural disaster and all of my neighbors seem to be doing fine on their own without assistance. It's weird.
I also grieve over the recent shootings at two Colorado religious institutions this weekend. This is a pretty interesting report on the situation. First, let me say that I'm saddened by the fact that 6 people lost their lives during this. But what struck me the most about this event is the fact that New Life Church has an armed security guard. According to the latest report I read, her normal routine is to attend the first service as a worshiper and then attends the second service as the pastor's bodyguard. It seems odd to me that a place that is supposed to be preaching the Gospel which is full of love and grace and mercy, feels the need to protect themselves with weapons.
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