41w 4d Playlist

The following is a playlist I made for my walk today. I've tweaked a few titles and lyrics to suit my situation.



"Wide Open Spaces Cervix" by the Dixie Chicks

She needs [a] wide open spaces cervix
Room to make her big mistakes entry
She needs new faces
She knows the high stakes

"How Long Must I Wait" by Dr. Dog

"Waiting on a Woman  Baby" by Brad Paisley

"I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor

"Sitting, Waiting, Wishing" by Jack Johnson

I sing ya songs I dance a dance go for walks, eat spicy food
I gave ya friends all a chance I'm not trying to be rude
Putting up with them wasn't worth never having you But I want you out, out real soon
And maybe you been through this before
But it's my first time
So please ignore
The next few lines cause they're directed at you

I can't always be waiting waiting on you
I can't always be playing playing your fool
I keep playing your part
But it's not my scene
Wont this plot not twist?
I've had enough mystery.
Keep building me up, then shooting me down
Well I'm already down
Just wait a minute
Just sitting waiting
Just wait a minute
Just sitting waiting


"Magic Dance" by David Bowie

"I Can't Wait to Meet You" By Wynonna Judd

I do my best to do right, got to get to the way up high trying not to get forlorn
Oh, my Lord baby I can't wait to meet you
Love the life I'm livin' though
I'm looking forward to the day I fly you're born
I can't wait to meet you

"Push It" by Salt n Pepa

"Waddle" by Gorilla Zoe

I walk with a waddle
Walk with a waddle 
My jeans hang low cause my pockets fulla guapa belly full of baby
My chain yoga pants hang low cause my ice fulla water waist has disappeared
I walk with a waddle
I walk with a waddle
A whole lot a swagga
I'm a young dun dodda big ol' preggo lady
I walk with a waddle
I walk with a waddle
See us in the spot
We don't dance we just waddle
Walk with a waddle
Walk with a waddle

A Watched Pot...

I feel like a ticking time bomb, walking around making people feel very anxious. I've stopped telling people when I was due, having learned that telling them "last week" fills them with a mix of terror and pity. I really freaked out a city parks employee at Mt Bonnell last week, when I told him I was a few days past my due date. He nervously laughed and said he wasn't trained in delivering babies, and that I ought to try not to go into labor on top of Bonnell. I chuckled at him and continued with my hike.

Our culture has a hard time with estimated due dates. We Americans live by chronos time, so when we hear due date, we assume it's a sure thing and baby should come right around then. Anytime after and you're treading into dangerous territory.

The truth is, unless medically induced, half of all pregnant women will go beyond their due date, delivering closer to 41 or 42 weeks. There are some who are advocating for that to become the new norm, the new time frame for setting a "due date."

But since we're not to the point of embracing a longer gestation period, our society still struggles to know what to do with an "overdue" woman.

The weird thing is that I don't feel stressed about this, until someone asks me if the baby is here yet. Then I feel this odd pressure to get this baby out, as though it is something under my control. Believe you me, I've done everything I can to prepare the way for labor and childbirth. Yoga, walking, eating healthy, drinking red raspberry leaf tea, visualization and meditation.  I'm ready. But I can't force baby to be. She's the one that has to release the signal that all systems are a go.

So for anyone who has inquired about the baby, I understand you're excited for us and ready to meet Lil' Longino. I am too! But those inquiries are filling my hormonal head with unnecessary anxiety. If I've been ignoring you, don't take it personally. I just need to create a relaxed environment without outside pressure to force this baby out.

I found this poem that has helped my heart and mind trust in God's and the baby's timing:

Waiting

Dear Baby, here beneath my heart,
I thought that you might come today;
The timing seemed just right.

But the stars are out
And the moon is high
And sheepishly I wonder why
I try to arrange the plans
Of God.

For now I know
You will not come
Until the One who holds eternity
Rustles your soft cocoon
And whispers in tones that I will not hear,
“It’s time, precious gift.”

“Now it’s time.”

-by Robin Jones Gunn. 

Baby Book, Not Facebook

I hesitate to write about this topic, knowing if falls in the "mommy/parenting wars" realm. I have already found myself in conversations and interactions where awkwardness comes up around certain choices we are making as parents. For example, every time I tell someone I am hoping to give birth at a birthing center without the assistance of drugs, there's always this tension (real or perceived) that arises. I know this choice is not the norm, and I know there's a heated debate about the best way to labor and give birth to a baby. I don't think my choice is the best or right way to do it, but it is the choice that I believe is best for me. This is basically how I feel about all decisions regarding parenting. There's no right way to do it. It seems to me that we as parents just have to figure out the best way for ourselves and our children and try to avoid shaming or being shamed. We're all just doing the best we can.

So when it comes to my thoughts about internet privacy and parenting, I don't necessarily think this the right way for everyone, and I wouldn't dream of judging others for choosing a different stance.

Here's the deal: my husband and I don't plan on posting very many updates or photos of our children on Facebook and other social media sites. There will be a birth announcement, likely with a photo, but after that we plan to limit the presence of our kiddos online until they are able to consent to those posts and choose for themselves what they want the world to see. We will likely have an online photo album which requires a password, and we will selectively choose who gets access to that.

It isn't that we're paranoid about online predators.  It isn't that we don't want to share the joy of our children with others. We just don't want to overly expose our children to the world without their permission. Ours will already live in the fishbowl known as church, growing up as pastor's kids (PK) with church members watching their every move. Not necessarily a bad thing, but they don't get to enjoy the anonymity that other children do.  Sort of like children of celebrities, PKs are put in the spotlight, whether they like it or not. I hope our children don't resent that experience.

There's a lot we won't have control over as parents, but the level of exposure on social media, at least for the first portion of their lives, is one thing we can control. So we will choose to give our children privacy for the sake of their security and autonomy.  If you would like to see pictures of our kids, come over and take a look at their baby books. I know, those things are nearly obsolete, but I'm old fashioned in that way.