Baby Book, Not Facebook

I hesitate to write about this topic, knowing if falls in the "mommy/parenting wars" realm. I have already found myself in conversations and interactions where awkwardness comes up around certain choices we are making as parents. For example, every time I tell someone I am hoping to give birth at a birthing center without the assistance of drugs, there's always this tension (real or perceived) that arises. I know this choice is not the norm, and I know there's a heated debate about the best way to labor and give birth to a baby. I don't think my choice is the best or right way to do it, but it is the choice that I believe is best for me. This is basically how I feel about all decisions regarding parenting. There's no right way to do it. It seems to me that we as parents just have to figure out the best way for ourselves and our children and try to avoid shaming or being shamed. We're all just doing the best we can.

So when it comes to my thoughts about internet privacy and parenting, I don't necessarily think this the right way for everyone, and I wouldn't dream of judging others for choosing a different stance.

Here's the deal: my husband and I don't plan on posting very many updates or photos of our children on Facebook and other social media sites. There will be a birth announcement, likely with a photo, but after that we plan to limit the presence of our kiddos online until they are able to consent to those posts and choose for themselves what they want the world to see. We will likely have an online photo album which requires a password, and we will selectively choose who gets access to that.

It isn't that we're paranoid about online predators.  It isn't that we don't want to share the joy of our children with others. We just don't want to overly expose our children to the world without their permission. Ours will already live in the fishbowl known as church, growing up as pastor's kids (PK) with church members watching their every move. Not necessarily a bad thing, but they don't get to enjoy the anonymity that other children do.  Sort of like children of celebrities, PKs are put in the spotlight, whether they like it or not. I hope our children don't resent that experience.

There's a lot we won't have control over as parents, but the level of exposure on social media, at least for the first portion of their lives, is one thing we can control. So we will choose to give our children privacy for the sake of their security and autonomy.  If you would like to see pictures of our kids, come over and take a look at their baby books. I know, those things are nearly obsolete, but I'm old fashioned in that way.