A Watched Pot...

I feel like a ticking time bomb, walking around making people feel very anxious. I've stopped telling people when I was due, having learned that telling them "last week" fills them with a mix of terror and pity. I really freaked out a city parks employee at Mt Bonnell last week, when I told him I was a few days past my due date. He nervously laughed and said he wasn't trained in delivering babies, and that I ought to try not to go into labor on top of Bonnell. I chuckled at him and continued with my hike.

Our culture has a hard time with estimated due dates. We Americans live by chronos time, so when we hear due date, we assume it's a sure thing and baby should come right around then. Anytime after and you're treading into dangerous territory.

The truth is, unless medically induced, half of all pregnant women will go beyond their due date, delivering closer to 41 or 42 weeks. There are some who are advocating for that to become the new norm, the new time frame for setting a "due date."

But since we're not to the point of embracing a longer gestation period, our society still struggles to know what to do with an "overdue" woman.

The weird thing is that I don't feel stressed about this, until someone asks me if the baby is here yet. Then I feel this odd pressure to get this baby out, as though it is something under my control. Believe you me, I've done everything I can to prepare the way for labor and childbirth. Yoga, walking, eating healthy, drinking red raspberry leaf tea, visualization and meditation.  I'm ready. But I can't force baby to be. She's the one that has to release the signal that all systems are a go.

So for anyone who has inquired about the baby, I understand you're excited for us and ready to meet Lil' Longino. I am too! But those inquiries are filling my hormonal head with unnecessary anxiety. If I've been ignoring you, don't take it personally. I just need to create a relaxed environment without outside pressure to force this baby out.

I found this poem that has helped my heart and mind trust in God's and the baby's timing:

Waiting

Dear Baby, here beneath my heart,
I thought that you might come today;
The timing seemed just right.

But the stars are out
And the moon is high
And sheepishly I wonder why
I try to arrange the plans
Of God.

For now I know
You will not come
Until the One who holds eternity
Rustles your soft cocoon
And whispers in tones that I will not hear,
“It’s time, precious gift.”

“Now it’s time.”

-by Robin Jones Gunn.