Then comes marriage

I have to admit that I'm a skeptic when it comes to marriage. I've witnessed so many awful, failed marriages that it is hard for me to get excited about the prospect. The following are some random thoughts I have about the matter:

Statistically, white women see a 4% wage decrease when they get married...that percentage increases when they have kids. This makes sense because typically married couples view the man's career as more important (thus they will relocate for his job if necessary, and the woman usually puts her career on hold to have babies).

The average age for a woman's first marriage in the U.S. is 25. It seems to me that it would make more sense for that number to be higher, since our life expectancy is increasing exponentially. In 1900 the average life expectancy was 50, so if you didn't like your spouse too much, you were only stuck with them for about 30 years or so. Unlike today when the commitment is more like 60-70 years.

I remember the good ol' days in college when "a ring by spring" was the common goal. Living in Colorado Springs, I had several friends who were army wives or engaged to servicemen or were looking for serviceman to marry. I never understood why these girls were in such a rush to get married. I cannot even imagine what it would be like to attend BYU.

There is a decreasing amount of stigma tied to women who choose to stay single. More women are choosing a life of independence and "freedom" than ever before. It is empowering to know that you no longer have to rely on a man to survive in the world.

I have a mentor who is a retired teacher and has never married. I've asked her a few times about this, and she told me that it was her decision not to marry. She's too independent of a person to be tied down in a relationship. She said that there have been times when she has been lonely or jealous of those with spouses, but then she reminds herself that she would be miserable as a wife. I find her fascinating.

Married people tend to be physically healthier than single people. I guess it helps when you have someone to take care of you and hold you accountable for you actions.

Along the same trend, married people are less likely to get into trouble with substance abuse.

Married people tend to have more sex than non-married people. They also have more satisfying sex than non-married folks.

India's marriage arrangement system (the true system, not the stereotyped inaccurate version that most of us hear about) works pretty well. It's all about involving the family in the decision and making a match that is logical. Our Western version of marriage is often based on "love" as the primary reason to make the commitment. I've heard from many critics that this is the reason our divorce rate is so high. If people starting making the marriage decision with their heads more and less with their hearts, marriage would be more successful.

I've heard that 1 out every 8 married couples in the U.S. met on the internet. Not sure if that's true or not, but it is interesting to think about.

My favorite quote related to all this marriage stuff:

"In reality, feminists believe that men have the capacity for compassion, loyalty, decency and respect- which is why we demand no less in their behavior toward the women in their lives. Ironically, when it comes to their roles within the family, feminists have much greater faith in men's potential as attentive husbands, dedicated fathers, and loving partners than do many conservative women." ~ Jennifer Pozner

There are a lot of good things about marriage and a lot of bad things. When I think about whether or not I want to get married someday, I look to the ultimate example of married people in my life: Momsie and Popsicle. My parents have the most amazing marriage of anyone I know. It isn't perfect in any respect, but it is beautiful. There is compromise and grace. There is adoration and service. I only hope that I can come close to imitating their approach at marriage if I ever tie the knot someday.