My Jam Meltdown

It all started with a jar of Smucker’s Strawberry jam.

I was standing in the aisle at the grocery store, surveying the selection of jams. I’m partial to Smucker’s and was trying to decide between two sizes. The larger of the two was definitely the better value. But then a thought hit me: I’m only going to need enough jam to last me for three months. I have three months before I move into my fiance’s house and consolidate our stuff. Do I really want to bring a half-full jar of jam to his house? Does he even like jam for that matter? What if I’m marrying a man who does not like jam? What if he likes a different brand? Will that be a point of contention between the two of us? What else will be issues? Which dishes we hand wash vs put in the dishwasher? How we prefer the toilet paper on the holder (over vs under)? How we save for retirement? How we raise our children?

At this point I was still standing in the grocery store, staring at these jars of jam, with my mind panicking, wondering I know my fiance well enough. I was having a mini-meltdown, the first I’ve had since becoming engaged. I’ve heard it is normal and even healthy to have episodes like this before getting married. Releasing and acknowledging anxiety is a good thing. Studies show that if pregnant women have nightmares about their baby, they will have a shorter and easier labor, having released some of the anxiety they have built up.

I wonder if this jam-pondering-meltdown is a healthy thing. I have no doubt that we’re making the right decision in getting married. The other night at our first premarital counseling session we were both asked to list the top ten reasons we want to marry the other person. I had a hard time limiting it to only ten. But I’m also not ignorant to how difficult marriage is going to be and the major adjustment it is going to require.

I should ask my beloved if he likes jam. If he prefers a different flavor or brand, I suppose we could keep two jars in our fridge. Compromise is good.