Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

I just got back from an amazing Christmas at my grandpa's house in Montrose where time seemed to slow down which allowed for a great deal of reflection. My grandpa lives outside of town in the farm country with a magnificent view of the San Juan mountain range. I always feel like I've stepped back in time when we visit him which could be due to the fact that his furniture hasn't changed in twenty years and it could also be due to the fact that he doesn't own a computer so I feel disconnected from my cyberspace routine. Most of our time was spent sitting around waiting for the next meal. The rest of the time was spent enjoying the beautiful scenery. One of the highlights of the week was when my dad and Chloe and I drove down to Ouray which is a quaint town nestled in a valley and has been dubbed "The Switzerland of America". We walked around in the freezing cold (the sun hits the town for only about an hour during the day and spends the rest of the time hiding behind the mountains) and watched Chloe enjoy a romp around a park.

I also spent a lot of time taking Chloe for walks which she thoroughly enjoyed and reminded her of the days of freedom she spent in Pearlington when she had no idea what a leash was. During these long walks I took time to reflect on a variety of topics; first and foremost, my time spent in Mississippi. Then I got to thinking about the month that I've had to spend at home here in Colorado. I'm extremely grateful for this "Selah" time (I'll explain that later) even though I'm starting to become a bit stir crazy and ready to get a job. I keep coming back to something that a mentor told me before I left for the Gulf Coast. I don't know if she was quoting someone else or what, so hopefully I don't get into trouble for stealing words. She told me this: "Don't be surprised if when you get back you feel both less and more at home- everything will be just as it was before. But you won't be". I'm beginning to think that I've changed a lot more than I realize.

This dawned on me the other night when I attended a "reunion" party for anyone who has ever been involved in the youth group at our church. I observed three girls (I didn't know them very well before that night)who just returned from their first semester at college. They were full of stories about the dorms and roommates and awful professors which made me think about what it was like when I was in their place in life. You know, way back in time. Okay, just four years. The things that I thought were funny back then aren't really funny anymore. The things that worried me back then don't really concern me anymore. The questions about life that I had back then aren't so mysterious anymore (although many new questions have arisen since).

So now that I'm back at home after this life altering year in a disaster zone, I look around and see that things are pretty much just as they were before (although there are a boatload more Starbucks now). And I'm different. For instance, my parents are still the parents that I've had the past 22 years but I see them differently. They're now my friends. I like to hang out with them and I love that we still eat dinner together almost every night. Another example: If I would have spent a Saturday night at home four years ago, I would have felt like a complete loser. Now I don't mind so much. Tonight I watched a movie with my folks, assembled a bookcase and arranged all of my books by subject and author (that OCD comes from working at a library for four years). It was really enjoyable even if it is a dorky way to spend a Saturday night.