Livin' at home

As a kid I was often shown how fortunate I was to have the parents that I have. All it took was a play date at my bestest good friends house to see an example of bad parents. Her mom acted like a teenager and often wanted to be “just one of the girls” with us. I always thought she was cool to hang out with, but at the end of the day I was glad to go home to my mom who acted like a grownup. Her dad was even more unbearable to be around because of the verbal abuse he constantly dished out to his wife. When my friend and I were in fourth grade, things got really ugly which resulted in a painful divorce. This really affected my friend and she was never the same afterwards. Our friendship eventually drifted apart as we went to different schools for fifth grade and middle school. We attended the same high school and we’d say hi in the hallways between classes, but she was headed on a very different path than I was and we never hung out in the same social circles.

If there is anything good in me, it’s all thanks to my parents who influenced me more than anyone else. I adore them and envy them all at once. They have a marriage that is so cute and ridiculously full of love, sometimes it makes me want to vomit. They managed to beat the odds in their families and have stayed hopelessly devoted for 26 years now. My mom’s parents divorced when she was young and her two brothers don’t exactly have great love stories. My dad’s parents managed to stay married for 53 years before they both passed away, although they stopped sleeping in the same bedroom back in 1960 (my dad is the youngest child and was born in ’59). Of the five siblings, my dad is the only one who has successfully remained married (three siblings have four divorces among them and the other one has never married).

This past ski season I rode up the lift with girl who was about my age. We got to chatting and discovered that we had a lot in common. One of the major differences though, was that she was really ashamed of the fact that she had moved back in with her parents after college. That certainly isn’t the case with me. I actually like living with my folks and have come to regard them as friends. If you know my parents, I’m sure you understand this. If you haven’t met my parents, you’re missing out.

Sure, there are times when I think, “Hmm, I should grow up someday and get a job and a boyfriend and pay rent and stuff like that”. But who decided that those are the key ingredients to a happy and fulfilling life? One of the most intriguing topics we discussed in my college anthropology class was the idea of matri/patrilocality and western civilization’s rejection of that ideal. In many societies around the world, it is considered normal for families to remain close-knit after the children come of age. I think it can be a beautiful thing if all the variables allow for a positive experience. As long as the economy is in it's current state, I'll likely be living at home just like several of my other friends in the same boat. Plus my parents have TiVo and a well stocked fridge, so why would I want to leave?