Real Beauty

This is going to be a doozy of a post, I can tell already. First, sit back and enjoy this Dove film that was made for their Real Beauty campaign.



Spending time with high school kiddos lately has reminded me how big of an issue body image is for most (though not all) girls in our society. I took part in a great conversation with some girls while we were in Mexico which got my heart all riled up. We are bombarded with images of how we're supposed to look and given standards that are almost impossible to reach. It seems to me that a lot of this stems from the media- T.V., movies, magazines, billboards etc. But this is an epidemic so widespread, that even if a girl is isolated from these images, there is still the influence from other women in their lives. Mothers, sisters, aunts, teachers and other women all contribute to the disease of negative body image. I know I'm guilty of suspending this problem.

It all started when I was born. 9lbs 10oz. Nope, that's not a typo. I was a huge baby. I don't think I'll ever be able to repay my mom for the pain she had to endure when carrying me for nine months and then going through the agony of labor.

I've always been chubby. I kinda hoped that the baby fat would just disappear with time, but twenty three years later I've still got it. This weight problem has always been a source of pain for me as I don't fit our society's standards of what is considered beautiful. In elementary school we played the usual game of boys chasing girls on the playground, except that the boys never wanted to chase me. In middle school there was even more running as we were expected to run a mile in gym class. I wasn't much of a runner so I usually walked about 90% of the mile. This resulted in much heckling from "The Crew" which was Longs Peak Middle School's clique of mean girls. Oh by the way, they also had a cute nickname for me: Manhands. Thanks to my larger than the average female hands, The Crew were given a good source for ridiculing me and making me hate life in general. When carting books at the library I can usually grab 5-6 novels at a time (which probably means nothing to you, but in the world of library shelvers, most women grab 3 at a time). Maybe it is a good thing that my hands are so big because they complement my larger than average head. Yes, I have a large head too.

By the time I hit high school my self esteem hit rock bottom and I gave up caring about myself. This lasted into the college years until I took a class that changed my life. It was Soc 360: Intro to Social Psychology. Kate Lane was the instructor teaching it, so of course it was going to be good. We spent the entire semester examining the human body from the toes all the way up to the head. Yes, we even talked about those unmentionable parts. Each week we focused on a different part of the body and discussed how our society has established norms for that particular body part. This class was both educational and entertaining all at once. One of the most powerful activities we did in class was when each student was given a 3X5 card to write down which part of their body they are most ashamed of and wished could be more "normal". The exercise was anonymous and optional, but as it turned out every single student participated and so did the professor.

I was blown away by some of the responses that were turned in. Some were legitimate, but others seemed ridiculous. People who I thought looked perfect and fit our societies "ideal" were self conscious about something. I'm sad that it took me that long to realize that no one is perfect, therefore it is ridiculous to set such high expectations on ourselves and on others. I walked away from the final class that semester letting out a huge sigh of relief.

Of course I still have body image issues, but they aren't nearly as intense as they were a few years ago. For example, I'm not exactly thrilled to be a bridesmaid next month when I'll get to stand next to a bride and her two sisters, all of whom are Twiggy thin. But then I have to stop and remind myself why I'm doing it: I love my brother and am excited to be part of this amazing celebration.

And for the first time in my life I've taken control of my health and am being more mindful of what I'm putting in my body. No longer am I succumbing to emotional eating and hiding behind baggy clothes in an attempt to not be noticed. I'm watching what I eat and exercising more in hopes of getting my BMI to a healthy level. Plus, I'm really happy.

Adele is the new British singer on the scene who is making waves with her music and her image. I read an article about her in a magazine this week that made me respond with a "rock on girl!" (which made for a Bridget Jones moment since I said it out loud while on the treadmill at the Y). Here is her response when asked about being full-figured: "I'm overweight, but I don't care. The British press makes sly remarks [about my weight] sometimes. Blogs mainly. But I don't care what some 12-year-old boy thinks in his bedroom". I hope this sassy girl sticks around for a while!