Pastor Mama

I currently serve as the pastor of a small congregation about an hour away from my home. Prior to having baby, I would often stretch my 16 hour/week contract closer to 30 or 35 hours/week, going against what my seminary professors taught me about boundaries. But I loved it. I loved taking my time with sermons, actually devoting time to exegesis, writing and practicing. I loved taking my time after church to pop by the nursing home or check in on some of my homebound members. Going over my paid hours didn't stress me out.

A lot has changed now that baby is in the picture.

I keep her at home except for one day a week when my father-in-law cares for her, which has been such a gift these past few months. Most days I'm able to work when baby is napping and my husband looks after her for a few hours when he gets home from work. Most weeks it is doable and I am able to get my work done.

But the thing about my sermon writing is that it often doesn't fit into a schedule. I'm not one of those preachers that prays over the text on Tuesday, does exegetical work Wednesday, makes an outline Thursday and writes the thing on Friday. Usually it has to simmer for a few days and often inspiration strikes outside of scheduled work times. I know many preachers who write their sermons Saturday nights or even Sunday mornings. The Spirit has a funny way of moving sometimes.

And then there are the days when baby decides not to nap well, or we have too much going on for me to get consistent time in the evenings to work. This usually means pushing work time into the hours when I should be sleep, which furthers my sleep deprivation problem.

My baby is not too far from being capable of this. 

And now with my time being stretched thin, I'm forced to be faithful to that 16 hours/week contract, which is probably a good thing. But it means I'm super limited in what I can do and it means cutting down my sermon prep time. Any good public speaking instructor will tell you it is important to spend one hour preparing for a speech, or sermon in my case, for every minute that you're going to be talking. I tend to preach 12-15 minutes, which would mean nearly all of my hours would go toward preaching. Add in 2 hours for Sunday morning and there's no time for anything left. So, my preaching prep time is cut to make room for pastoral care and all of the administrative duties that go with being a solo pastor.

There are days when I feel like I'm not doing anything well. And wonder if I'll ever care about work as much as I did before baby came along. I still enjoy it, but I find myself blissfully distracted by this little creature that has taken hold of my heart.