I really didn't intend to tell my birth story during this Write 31 Days challenge, but I'm finding myself struggling to talk about the transition to motherhood, without telling this part of the story. My experience with labor and childbirth got me questioning whether or not I was cut out for this motherhood gig, since it appeared my body was not doing what it was built to do. So it seems important to share this bit of the story to help explain the struggles and fears I had during those first few weeks and even still 6 months into this new role.
One of the best pieces of advice, and like most pregnant women I got plenty of (unsolicited) advice from people, was to make a birth plan and then tear it up. The idea being don't set your mind on how your labor and delivery will go because there is a lot out of your control and it isn't going to go exactly how you plan.
It seems more often than not, childbirth does not go as a woman planned on at least some level. Perhaps something relatively minor went ary like her labor went too fast for her to experience laboring in the birthing tub like she'd hoped. Or something major like she wanted to have her baby vaginally without the assistance of drugs, and wound up with a C-Section.
The latter was my situation.
I had done all the research, prepared for months using pain coping techniques, and felt very ready and confident to have my baby at the birthing center without any help from an epidural. As I said in my last post, I don't believe this is the superior way to have a child, but it was the way I wanted to have my child.
Everything seemed to be shaping up nicely with my relatively low-drama pregnancy. I did have a few fibroid tumors, but the midwives kept a very close eye on them with monthly ultrasounds, a more invasive form of prenatal care than they typically give. The standard practice at the birthing center is one ultrasound at 20 weeks for an anatomy scan, one later in the pregnancy for a positioning check, and if necessary, they will do more after 40 weeks to make sure baby is doing okay. My monthly scans were a bit unusual, but all looked well and I felt confident in the care I was receiving.
40 weeks into pregnancy came and I officially went on maternity leave, ready to have the baby any day. I felt really good and managed to weed the entire front yard and assemble birth announcements that got more elaborate as I put them together. 40 weeks went and baby was still comfy cozy.
41 weeks came and I was still quite energetic, able to make daily hikes up Mt. Bonnell, and doing my best to stay calm and avoid people asking, "Is baby here yet?" I went to my prenatal check up and things looked really good. But at that point I realized I needed to start thinking about the "what-if" situations in case my birth plan didn't go as hoped. I even asked the midwife what I should expect should a c-section be necessary. She told me not to worry, those are rare instances for birth center clients. So I didn't worry. But they did send me to get a biophysical profile at the hospital, just to see what baby was up to.
At 41 weeks and 2 days, we ventured to the hospital where the scan would be done and ended up with the first sign things were going to happen differently than I'd hoped. According to the ultrasound measurements, baby was weighing 10lbs and my amniotic fluid was very low. The doctor nonchalantly offered to schedule me for a c-section, saying it would be best since the baby was so large. This is when the tears began to flow. All of sudden I was going from peaceful labor and childbirth in the birthing center which looks like a bed and breakfast, to the opposite extreme of surgery and removal of my baby.
I didn't respond to the doctor and said I'd have to consult my midwives.
Through tears, I called the birthing center and told them what happened. They told me to come over immediately and they'd talk me through a plan of action. They told me to chug some water, thinking maybe I was a bit dehydrated and causing low fluid on the scan. At the birthing center they did another ultrasound and determined that my fluid level was just fine, but must have been low earlier because it was first thing in the morning and I hadn't had much water yet. So that wasn't a concern. We talked about the baby's size and they reminded me that women have large babies all the time. Even tiny petite women can heave 10 pound babies out, so I thought surely my larger than average hips could handle it. They told me to go home to rest and come back tomorrow to try some labor inducing techniques. Nothing invasive, just some methods to try and get things moving.
I went home and did manage to get some good rest. I was tremendously comforted by the midwives who cared for me that day, and decided to trust that things would turn out fine. The next day we spent a few hours at the birthing center, doing rounds on the breast pump and drinking a rather disgusting herbal concoction. It was perhaps one of the weirdest experiences, but I was ready to try any natural techniques to get baby out.
Saturday was a day of rest. I went for a long walk, did my best to relax. Went out for eggplant parmesan, in hopes that my it would be the old wives' tale that actually worked.
And then, at 4am Sunday morning, the contractions started. Labor had begun on its own!
They were strong enough that I couldn't sleep through them, so I wandered out to the living room to watch a few movies and let my husband get more sleep, knowing he'd need to rest up for what was about to happen.
By mid-morning we called the midwife to give her a heads up of what was happening. She said to hang tight and wait until the contractions were 4 minutes apart. That time came around 3pm, when we called her up and headed to the birthing center excited for what we were about to embark upon.
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